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Transformers one, finally Hasbro tries something new and creative with the Transformers IP and it still somehow managed to feel somewhat dull and derivative.

Not Gonna lie, I'm kinda loosing track of the number of soft reboots this franchise had gone through, and this attempt at a franchise formation was already freaking dumb from the start as they brought Michael fucking Bay to direct the intricate and well weaved lore of the transformers...

Michael Bay, the guy who masturbates to explosions in his free time... And takes fun in putting the most juvenile of humour in his movies like putting multiple scenes of his two dogs humping each other just because.

Began by calling the Transformers Dumb as it was and decided to make it (in his word) really cool. In reality he just made the Transformers faces look like they were made of scrap metal and their bodies had too much scar tissue.

My man really tried to do every single cool thing in the book, like when the Guy Ritchie King Arthur movie was coming out, guess what, he brought King Arthur into the Frey, even though it made absolutely no fucking sense in the lore that the previous Movies had established.

And to add to that my boi Michael Bay made it make even less sense by casting Stanley Tucci in the role of Merlin the fucking wizard.

Stanley Tucci as Merlin the Wizard in Transformers the Last Knight.

Even though in the last movie, he was a massive corporate dude who not only was a straight up idiot(he looked like Steve Jobs, I think this was dig at Apple the whole company subplot in Age of Extinction) and was the C.E.O. of K.S.I.: the company responsible for making the human made Transformers with Transformium and calling the older transformers outdated and what not.

And he was also the one who fell for the token Chinese actress Li Bingbing because she is a super badass that saves his sorry ass.

Yeah that movie was in the time when Hollywood tried really hard to suck off China as hard as it could, because big market...

My God, What a time that was...

And of course there is the fucking military which is featured heavily in every movie and has to be presented in the most amazing light ever, because in order to get access to Military hardware and equipment for filming(which is required as many of the Decepticons are military vehicles) the military makes him sign a contract to basically advertise them.

And therefore a huge part of the movies is how the military is a one hundred percent the good guy, and it plays a major role being shown in a good light and two military individuals i.e. Colonel William Lennox and Robert Epps play a major role through out the movies and are basically side heroes.

and of course multiple times they do oversight and overstep orders and are of course always right because... Military good.

Robert Epps and Willian Lennox during the battle of Chicago in Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

That is the reason the Transformers movie franchise is dumb, because Michael Bay... actually that's the end of the sentence, they are dumb because Michael Bay.

He just does not give a shit and just cares about doing it and getting outta there.

And that is not the attitude that supports Franchise film making, it does support gratuitous waist shots of Megan Fox.(can you see where it went bad?)

This is the main reason, not because the source material is dumb, that's actually pretty well put together, Hasbro's decisions with it on the other hand.... Yeah...

Thanks to Hasbro's exceptionally amazing decisions with the IP I know and love, we have an entire generation of people thinking that transformers is just dumb giant robots fighting each other who also transform into cars from time to time... I will just say... No...

Most people don't even realise the fact that the original fans of Generation one transformers absolutely despise the transformers movies, even more so than a normal viewer, because it's taking something that we love and bastardising the hell out of it.

Gen 1 Optimus vs Megatron

It's robots in disguise, that suits more to a spy thriller than a straight up action movie...

And the fact that they are Giant robots makes it that much more challenging and therefore that much more interesting to watch...

More than meets the eye, and hiding in plain sight, that is Transformers, not big robot go boom.

And yes, the original cartoon is meant to sell toys, and even so, it's freaking amazing and intricately woven with a boat load of lore, including the combiners the Autobots, the decepticons, the Quintessans and of course fucking Unicron.

Not Unicorn, Unicron.

An ancient god of destruction who later became a counter part to the core of Cybertron i.e. Primus, who represents life and Unicron represents... Not death... But undeath.

In the original cartoon Unicron is just a giant planet sized, planet consuming entity that revived Megatron into Galvatron and was the antagonist in the Transformers movie after optimus prime and every single main line transformer just died because they want new toys... Anyways.

It is only later that Unicron became the core of the earth and his blood became the darker counterpart to energon which is the life blood of the Transformers, and Dark Energon, unlike Energon, makes Zombies of dead transformers.

and Megatron uses it to gain more power, and control the undead, both in the Prime continuity and in the Cybertron games.

In the games, it seems Dark Energon is what gives the Decepticons their characteristic Purple color and corrupting the core with it is was makes the planet uninhabitable.

Megatron faces Unicron in Transformers: Prime continuity.

In the og cartoon the fight between Autobots and Deceptions was over energon as the Cons want to destroy humans to harvest energon and Autobots want to save humanity and Cybertron isn't destroyed with their war, it's just ruled by Decepticons and the Autobots are rebels and taking Energon makes transformers high... Yeah the original war was over drugs...

Anyways, point is, the movies have routinely taken amazing pieces of lore and made it into McGuffin number sixty nine(yes that's deliberate because Michael bay.)

Allspark, the life force of all Transformers that gives them their soul and is the spark of Primus himself, now a fucking cube that Autobots and Deceptions fight over because... Reasons

Matrix of leadership, an amazing badge of honour that is passed from prime to prime and is lodged in the chest of optimus prime and gives him amazing powers, now a fucking key, that turns to pixie dust and its primary use it unlocking an Energon machine that blows up suns to create Energon and to bring Prime back to life because of course, and also... Who names a key the Matrix of Leadership???

Space-bridge and Ground-bridge, the main means of transportation for the transformers now many pillars that destroy transformers, actually that one was fine, yeah Dark of the Moon is actually a good movie, and would have been perfect if Mikaela wasn't replaced with a Victoria's secret Model.

Cybertron is brought to Earth using the Spacebridge in Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Dinobots... Galvatron... New age decepticons... Actually can I just skip age of extinction?



This was made...

And then we have Quintessa fucking the Lore and also Unicron is the Earth just like in the best written transformers show ever i.e. Transformers Prime and still...

They fucked it up...

Quintessa traps Optimus in Transformers the Last Night.

Bumblebee was fine it was just poorly executed but compared to the rest of the shit that transformers was it was fucking amazing.

And then Unicron was still followed upon in the Rise of th beast and it was going to be freaking amazing with the maximal and the terror cons and... Then it was generic... Goddammit Hasbro...

Unicron Consumes a Planet in Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

All that to say, they have tried a lot with this franchise and have fumbled again and again, now, they are trying something new, again with a soft reboot instead of idk, fixing their issues?

And they are picking up one of the most crucial parts to the Transformers lore that is the past of Optimus Prime and Megatron and as they were:-

The clerk Orion Pax, and the Gladiator named after a previous prime: Megatronus.

Now already, here they are just non transforming worker bots called Orian Pax and D-16(not Megatronus, okay.)

Instead of being a Clerk and a Gladiator, now this continuity is a little different than the one in Prime(duh) as here they are shown to be ruled over by Quintessans and I am guessing the entire movie is them leading a rebellion against these dark forces to take back Cybertron.

And yes this is very different from the Michael bay Continuity where optimus just had no idea who Quintessa is.

So, basically, Quintessans are also transformers who took a very dark path and ruled over the rest and Primus who is the Twin of Unicron and is the planet Cybertron is currently dormant.

Yeah it's a lot.

So that's a whole lot of things, but the main sort of issue I have with this is:-

One: they are taking a needlessly comedic tone to this no doubt to attract younger audiences, this is once again an attempt to stay true to the original lore that takes a massive departure from it, and then of course the track record isn't good.

And two: while yes, it is amazing to see the Quintessans and Transformers like Alpha trion on screen, one cannot deny that the likelyhood of them screwing us over and making a bad movie is not low.

But not to worry, nothing will damage the reputation of Transformers as much as Deep Wang.


The main problem, in all of this, is the fact that even though this style of film is something new to the franchise, it isn't really new to the movie landscape currently, in fact this comedic lighthearted take with a tinge of world ending threat/overthrowing an evil government, is really the norm.

And so naturally one would think that this isn't Hasbro trying something new, but their attempt to jump onto the latest bandwagon in hopes that it will save their franchise and sell more tickets.

And of course there's the fucking transformers and G.I.Joe cross over, which is still happening.

And yes, the elephant in the room, this movie is animated and Optimus Prime is voiced by Chris Hemsworth.

I actually don't mind that, I mean it's entirely set in Cybertron, at least they arenm't being like the Lion King "Live Action" remake, where they just use CGI animation and call it "Live action".

But yes, this is in contrast to the Live action movies and many people are going to be like: "ugh this movie is for kids." which is a sentiment that still exists for some reason, in spite of shows such as Invincible and Rick and Morty.

And of course this is geared towards kids, at least it feels like it.

It makes light of much of the things this movie is handling, which I hate, but it has some really badass moments, like in the cover phot of this article.


All this to say I don't know what to feel about this trailer, it is going into something I like, it's fresh it's interesting, at the same time the track record makes me want to drive my head through a wall... And it does seem a little like they are trying to hop into a trend, but I shall...


My best...

To withhold judgement...

At least the Animation looks gorgeous.

Before Optimus Prime he was Orion Pax, Before Megatron, He was D-16. (Some really pretty looking scenes form the Transformers: One trailer.)


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