Hokum: A Movie with 2.6 different plots that have nothing to do with each other.

Strangeness takes many forms, sometimes it is real life, and sometimes it is a story that literally could not explain itself better even if it tried.

And so we reach Hokum, a story that exists.

And that is the most understandable thing about it.

And I do not use such language lightly, I went into it expecting some big things because I had heard some big things.

But all that came into question once the first Jump Scare came along, for one it is never a good sign when the initial mystery has not even begun and you just get a random jump scare.

Sometimes it can be good, depending on if the explanation given later is good enough, but in no explanation or a vague information as is the case here...

Idk man.

In my out of theatre reaction to this one, I said that I felt like it had 2.6 different plots going on.

And that is quite true.

So the very first plot is about the Honey Moon Suite and the apparent witch/occult housed in there.

And you would think that that is the main plot and what is followed, but oh no, halfway through the opening the main character Ohm Bauman tries to kill himself and is saved by Fiona.

Obviously my man wants to thank her but girl be missing and then be dead.

SO the movie... flip flopped between whether the Honey moon Suite is actually haunted or whether it is used as a means to hide some shady business.

Because in the case of Fiona, she was pregnant with the managers kid so she is thrown into the lift in the suite that goes to the basement but never comes up again...

And so she is of course, dead as a door knob.(People who have seen it know why it is funny)

Now she went down that lift and fucking died right? So I mean the one thing I would be absolutely sure to never do is go down on the lift, at least without having a man at the top to pull me back up...

And you bet your ass that is exactly what dear Ohmie Homie does.

So now at this point thematically it has been established that the Honey moon suite is used for hiding shitty stuff by the owner, and one of those shitty things is his affair with Fiona, so the Witch is Hokey right?

NO! Now it isn't completely out of the realm of possibility that both these things be true, the problem is that thematically it was clearly established that we have moved on from that and now we roll back on it.

And it is strange that this thing comes smack dab in the middle of the entire other plot.

So the movie just forgets the whole Dead woman plot line so that Ohmie my Homie can go and explore a witch cult or something.

And all the while it is being implied that more is going on with the Suite itself.

Now this movie seems to suffer from the Dangerous misconception that scary face = Horror.

Like so many things are introduced and then the camera focuses on them and does the whole.... oooooohhhhh.... Scaryyyyyy!!!!

But then nothing fucking happens again.

Now take this fucking bunny for example, I understand that this guy is presumably related to Irish Folklore and a show the main character watched as a kid, so... it comes on suddenly and makes the spoooky reveal that he shot his own mother while playing with his father's gun.

But this character does nothing, apparently is the main baddie innit?

And then the angels and cupids with evil eyes...

And... okay then let's make our way to the 0.5 of the plot now that the 2 is covered.

Ohm Bauman shot his own mother, and that is all you need to know about it.

And the mom's spirit keeps haunting him...

Until at the end she suddenly decides to help him ward off the witches...

So now... not only are so many of the major jump scares entirely unrelated to the major plots, they are entirely fucking useless!!!

The man is a writer though, so he has my vote.

But now let's get to the remaining 0.1 how the fuck did Ohmie no one's Homie end up in the Honey Moon Suite?

Why did he end up in the Honey Moon suite?

And for that we must talk about!

Jerry.

No not that one...

Also I don't know why I thought his name was Jeremy.

I bet this conspiracy theorist would love to be the one figuring out the entire plot of this movie the same way that Jerry did.

Or maybe Idk it's other Jeremy.

Who wants to guess he misses all of the valid criticisms while sinning this movie.

But Jerry is a homeless guy who annoys the guests and the staff at the Hotel and he meets Ohmie Boi when he is scattering his parent's ashes in the forest, he at first appears to be just a weird guy, but later is implicated in the missing/killing of Fiona, apparently My boi killed his wife.

Oh no sorry, she died under "mysterious circumstances" except he just flat out accepts that shit.

His wife wanted

Him being high runs so much of the plot considering how little screen time he has, bro can see spirits including Fiona's because he is high...

And apparently Ohm's drink was spiked by a bell boy he tortured as well... so they were both high...

But the shit they saw was real...

Okay.

Now I want to know is that why my man went into the suite a place he isn't supposed to be in and decided to sleep it off?

I mean there are so many blatant instances of "ah yes that is what a dumb person will do" and then that happens.

Idiot Plot is always a shame, and I know it is common in almost all horror movies, but like there is idiot plot and then there is brain dead plot, and that is what happens in this movie sometimes.

And all that said, I do understand the wider theme of the "Hokum"(Nonsense.) we tell ourselves.

But what I see is a bunch of un connected plots and an equally confused protagonist to connect them all together....

So scary? Yes definitely, there is nothing scarier than having wasted your time on a movie that could have been good but most definitely wasn't.