Mortal Kombat 2021, a strange way to go about it.

Ah yes, Video Game Movies, what a Strange Era we live in that we have enough of the good ones to call some of them Bad.

And while Mortal Kombat 2021 had an insanely awesome beginning, it definitely did count itself amongst the bad ones, at least according to the internet.

Mostly because unlike the original 1995 classic, which while still considered terrible for its time had some really iconic or at least memeable moments.

This one does not have the Chosen one pre fire god Liu Kang as the main character.

Instead it has Cole Young.

Who the fuck is Cole Young?

Well he is a boxer, maybe?

Idk man he gave me very father of Daredevil vibes, except his child isn't a blind lawyer, and he is alive because his power is literal plot armor.

Hey look man you want to put the son of Scorpio... wait what, he isn't even the son?

Motherfucker.

Yeah this man is just some descendant or something.

Which I mean, is just a terrible decision I mean if he was the baby from the start that Raiden saves then at least we have something interesting about the story.

i.e. why was he growing away from Raiden if Raids knew he would get the mark, and how this man has a traumatic past he doesn't understand and what not, but nope, just plot armor.

And while it comes to powers, they probably realized that they did not have time to explain the interesting back stories of thirty thousand different characters so they just made it all to a single one: Arcana.

Which is magic.

And they all unlock it differently...

So wait Kano does not have a mechanical eye?

That is sacrilege.

Idk man I found this frame funny. And this is how I got through this movie.

See I just put it on in the background because I wanted to see Billy Butcher from the boys play billionaire play boy actor Johnny Cage.

I mean...

Imagine if Butcher just punches Homelander in the balls and his head pops off?

Now that would be a brutality.

Anyways, in order to see the Executioner(remember Thor 3 :P) finally execute some bitches we need some important context coming from the 2021 master piece: Kortal Mombat.

No it does not deserve the name, as you see for some strange reason Cole Yong isn't the strangest side step in this movie, the actual strangest side step is that Raiden isn't the one gathering the people this time.

No no sir, the people go to him, Raiden is too busy to collect people... doing what exactly?

Ah yes, the classic loosing hope.

Also is it just me, or is Raiden Miscast? I mean, Christopher Lambert wasn't much better either, but like come on man, Raiden is supposed to be this deep voiced older dude, and not glowy eyed young Dumbledore.

But it is what it is.

So Sonya collects Cole, She doesn't have the Kombat Marking meaning she isn't chosen by the Elder Gods, and therefore has no access to the Arcana which is... yeah...

And Jaxx just got his mark from killing the one who had it before...

So you transfer Marks through murder?

Wtf kind of rule is that?

How isn't every fighter a fucking serial Killer.

So now this scene right, is this implying that Liu only took the name of a Child Trafficker? Or did he take the mark and his Arcana as well, cause if a Child Trafficker had the mark, then the fuck are these Elder Gods doing?

Like I get it right, you killed your champion so now you must fulfill their responsibilities, and as well, you probably want the most violent fighting in your stead as it is kill or be killed.... but these guys get super powers... like...

Fuck the realms themselves I guess.

And while we are on fucking, lets talk about the fucking plot which is basically Shang Tsung trying his best to make sure the Tournament doesn't happen and they win by default...

Sure I guess...

And as every time, Cole's family is threatened firs by Goro, which hold off on that... the entire reason you left was because they were after you and that endangered your family, so firstly right, why are you returning Cole, and secondly... at least keep them in a safe place, I mean aren't you afraid, oh my god...

See I told you...

And for some reason right, the Very Murder happy Bi Han freezes Cole's wife and daughter just right so that they don't die.

And then Cole starts punching the Ice... wtf dude.

And it is here, after the entire fucking movie is over, that Scorpion shows up and yes, this fight is amazing... would believe me if I told you the rest of the set up for the Finale ruined it for me?

Idk man, this thing came out in theatres, and then when I was watching it, I was like... oh... it's over...

Cool I guess.

And just like that I will end this blog post, cause Fuck your sense of Closure!!!