Spider-Man 1 Theatrical Re-Release, I thought you'd never ask.

You Know screenshotting Amazon Prime is a very Difficult Job, and that is why I have decided to leave this repeating shot of William Da Foe emphasizing that he is indeed something of a Scientist himself...

I don't know, it just feels like the perfect start to this post, because, well, I never Believed I would be graced with the chance to actually cover all of these films on here, given the fact that I was about two years old when they came out and that back then the internet made booping sounds loud enough to make one question whether that shit was even worth it.

That brings back memories...

I wonder if there is an alternate universe where there is no internet simply because no one could tolerate that fucking noise...

But I will tell you what, this alternate timeline to the MCU(because it's cannon after no way home that the Raimi films happened in a branched timeline...) is definitely one big bowl of nostalgia and fanservice, even before that was even a thing.

And I don't just mean that this re release is a fan service, the movie has fan service, see it turns out little old me never actually properly watched these movie properly...

But it is never too late to fix your mistakes right?

Oh no wait, forgot what universe I was in...

But speaking of Uncle Ben's Death, one thing I finally noticed after all these years, is that for surrounding someone who has bee freshly shot, the police seem remarkably calm, I mean, there's no one putting pressure on the wound, no one delivering any first aid...

They just calmly said: Carjacker. He's been shot.

And...

I mean bro, Police Officers carry first aid kits, and know basic shooter protocol, I mean they get shot all the time.

Tell you what, Uncle Ben's death is a result of police negligence, ol'Peter should be angry at the incompetent police if anything, leave the poor mugger alone, he probably thought that if he shot Benny in a non vital enough spot, the Police would do their fucking jobs while he would get away with the bloody money.

But it seems the Police had their end of month Quotas to fulfill because they definitely let this man die, so now they can claim, they caught a fucking murderer.

Hmm... when you look at it like this Spider-Man suddenly makes a lot more sense, I mean dude surely needs to fight crime in a place where the police is this level of incompetent...

With great power there must also come great responsibility after all...

And greater chances to get the girl because I think everyone forgets that everyone here is supposed to be in high school, or at least freshly graduated...

I mean I think everyone forgets that because everyone playing the main characters is at least 25 years of age, everyone who isn't named Kirsten Dunst that is, she was actually nineteen...

The only Age appropriate person in the whole movie and every modern film criticism channel has had the time of their life criticizing her character...

Also didn't her and Tobey date for a bit?

I guess age really is just number, oh well, we live in the world of Johnny Depp and Amber heard.

But coming back to Mary Jane, every single reviewer has had the time of their life criticizing her as a person, but while in the later films she is older and as a result her behavior is probably not as justifiable... peter wasn't always the best either(I mean we will talk about that when we get to Spider man 3 the day after tomorrow DON'T YOU WORRY!!!)

And... hello... she is a fresh graduate, half of us didn't even know what we wanted at that stage in their life, heck, some of us are twenty five and still figuring shit out...

And that is not to mention the fact that she is from a terrible household.

If anything I judge Harry more, that guy doesn't know how to respect himself or his girlfriend... Or his best friend...

Boy, he got rejected so hard...

And this is when I want to get to a certain aspect of the comics that this movie tried but never really got right, and that is... Peter is not a good person...

It is actually comic book Harry who's the goody two shoes, in spite of essentially being a spoiled rich kid, I mean that's kind of the point, Harry is nice even though he shouldn't be, and Peter is an asshole, even though he really shouldn't be...

He is jealous, anxious, trigger happy, angry and he doesn't just want to go through school and get to college and be the best there is, no, if given the chance, he wants to be exactly like flash, he wants to be a bully who beats up people willy nilly and who dates all the hot women, because of course he does.

Uncle Ben was quite right to give him the stern talking to both in this movie and in the comics, if it weren't for his dying words, spiderman would have been a straight up criminal.

And I mean he still is Vigilantism is a crime... J. Jonah Jameson maybe exceptionally annoying but he got one thing right...

See the main problem with Vigilantism is what peter constantly faces, i.e. his loved ones paying the price, and while the police also face that often, there are systems in place that help with that, and they work... sometimes...

And not to mention, the impartial protocol exists in place so that justice is fair and not partial to someone's feelings...

The possibility of someone like Spiderman actually being on the side of law is quite low, when corruption exists even amongst the police themselves...

But moving on from all of that, Comic book peter is actually much better portrayed in the Amazing Spider-Man but that is next week, so till then, let's talk metaphors.

Since this was the first movie and that was before every single Spider-Man Villain in media had a personal connection with him, this time, Norman being his best friend's dad is actually quite a poignant thing.

See now, this is not just a superhero story, it is a metaphor for coming of age, the protection your parents had over you(or in this case Aunt and Uncle)

Is now gone, you have suddenly become far more powerful than you ever could have imagined, but with that power comes a large target on your back as all the bullets that were kept away from you till now by those older than you, hit you and they hit hard.

Not to mention the Adults you thought were so perfect aren't so anymore, they are petty, ruthless, insecure, anxious... in a way, they are just you grown up...

Norman did everything he did simply to get his company back from the brink of total collapse, and so that the board wouldn't fire him as a CEO.

My man may be something of a scientist himself, but like all scientists, when it comes to funding, bro looses his cool...

I guess we finally met the real villain of Spider-Man, Ruthless capitalism.

Norman as a villain works perfectly, my only gripe with him is that the more caring and loving side of him that he mentions to peter in the final battle, and that peter doesn't really contest, well, we kind of never got to see it...

We see only the creepy and Villainous side of him and while that is the case that side is actually done quite well...

You know back when I watched this as a kid, I legit used to imagine the mask's mouth moving in this scene when Goblin was talking to Norman...

But I digress, it is the end of the movie and of this post, and Peter is all grown up, or so it would seem, because Mary Jane pretty much tells peter she loves him, the person he has wanted for all these years, and he turns her down...

Self sacrifice might seem cute in films, but it appears ol' Pete is developing a bit of a Martyr complex, and that is actually immature, you don't get to decide what sacrifices others make, Mary Jane knows who peter is and who Spidey is she is choosing this of her own free will...

We don't get to decide our value to others, that is their job.

But I wonder if Part of Peter is also hurt?

Because another part of growing up is realizing that the people you saw as Angels really aren't all that...